When did you first identify as queer and why?
A partner of mine that I had just started hanging out with at the time that also identifies as queer actually introduced me to the word. Or they gave me permission in a way to use that label for myself. I had just never thought to. I think I put alot of pressure on myself to pick a label & make decisions but I've always been "indecisive" or forever changing & it felt like a bad thing. But once I understood what being queer was, and that it was something that was fluid, it felt right to use for myself. In a way I guess I had also thought that the word was more for people that were like "official", had the experience, knew who they were, knew all the history of gay rights Lol, did voguing, I just didnt feel that i had really earned a right to that? If that makes sense. But that was me also just being in my head too.
What does being queer mean to you and how does it affect the way you move through the world and different spaces(social, economic, cultural, political)?
Being queer to me is questioning everything, saying no to things that are considered "normal", very much including oppressive systems. Queerness to me also represents freedom, and when you allow yourself to ask questions or go against the grain you trust yourself more. My queerness has always been a way for me to trust myself & my thoughts. And when I know myself & am aware of the systems in place that can cause me to not love myself or others I think I can love more authentically & first & foremost actually define love for myself.
How would you define your queer identity?
I would define my queerness as undefinable actually? It's always changing. Maybe that's corny LOL. I guess I could say it's transformational. My own brain is always just go, go, go, "what about this? What if I did this?". And I think queerness allows space for that in so many ways & to be different or shit even undefinable.
What is one thing you wish the younger you would’ve known in order to make deciding to get out of bed each day easier?
That life is a series of decisions. And everytime I make choice, any choice, I will learn from it & I will trust myself more, my ideas, my thoughts, others, etc. Doing something will be better than freezing.