a note to the reader

Dear Reader,

Good evening. It is 6:37pm, there’s a soft and cool evening breeze coming in through the top of my open window and my cat Yume is curled into a croissant tucked deep into her dreams upon my bed. The soft beats of cold sunsets by Milkz is trilling into my ear, the notes dancing upon each other up into the air above my head, and sailing out the window. I’m seated at my desk, inside my blessedly large room, inside of a tiny rented house that rests in the south of Boston.

Long ago, during a time when I had no where that was my own, I created this blog to claim back that space. Maiadvice I’ve named it as a way for me, and others, to do just that. Share advice. When you’re feeling lost in a way that can’t possibly be real. When the shadows on the walls have risen and are pressing on your neck, choking back your words. When this fragile shell of meat and bones no longer feels large enough to hold all the pain inside of you, I want you to come here. I want you to find a poem, an image, a quote, a person, me, anything; anything at all, to pull you back. To give you a crack of light to shine in that pitch black darkness.

And if these words fall on the ears of no one, that’s okay too. This is a space for me and for anyone. And if only I am to use it, I can only hope I don’t lose the joy I find in creating it. Too often my anxiety likes to twist things until that which brought me happiness is only another source of stress. I wish that on no one. Hopefully this space becomes a place where demons like anxiety can be slayed at the click of a mouse.

Most importantly. How are you today?

Wishing you peace,

Maia

my response to false thoughts

  • “My friends don’t actually like me. I’m annoying”

    1. If my friends didn’t like me, they wouldn’t be my friends to begin with. People don’t do things they don’t want to do, it’s that simple. Everyone can be annoying from time to time or a lot of the time even, it doesn’t mean that they are not likable and lovable.

  • “I have to do everything or nothing will be done right.

    1. Things were done just fine before I was around and they will be just fine when I’m gone. If I don’t give people the chance to do things right, they never will.

  • “I’m forgetting something. I should always be doing something.”

    1. Just because you’re having a moment of peace and calm, doesn’t mean that you’ve forgotten something. You don’t always need to be moving full speed ahead. The still moments are important too.

  • “This must be worse than anxiety because these symptoms are so scary. It can’t just be in my head something is wrong.”

    1. Anxiety symptoms are extremely scary but at the end of the day, they are just symptoms. They can and will end.

  • “I will always be trapped, helpless to my emotions. I will live, every day of my life like this.”

    1. You have already come leaps and bounds from where you started in your mental health journey. You have always known it was going to be a long and hard one. The fact that you can think rationally about your anxiety is proof of the fact it won’t rule you forever. Things can and will get better.

  • “I can’t stop shaking. There’s something wrong with me. I’m sick.

    1. You are experiencing physical symptoms of anxiety. It will end. Be patient and try to breathe. Go to your safe space.

  • If I’m not in control something bad will happen.”

    1. You don’t control the sun and yet it still rises and sets every day.

  • “I’m responsible for everyone’s happiness. I must make sure they are happy, even if I’m not.”

    1. Only you are responsible for your happiness, as only others are responsible for theirs. It is not feasible or sustainable to try and be the sole source of someone’s happiness.

  • “I’ll never be able to change. Then I’ll be forgotten.”

    1. You’ve already changed. You will always be remembered by all who love you just like you’ll remember them. You’ll be remembered in the words you’ve written and left to forever imprint upon the world. In the moments of time you were the one to capture. You will be remembered.

Do you relate with any of these anxious thoughts? If so, what do you tell yourself to counteract them? Try these and see if they help.

Wishing you peace,

Love Maia