What does being queer mean to you and how does it affect the way you move through the world and different spaces(social, economic, cultural, political)?

Being queer to me means being your most authentic self, even if it doesn't fit into mainstream cishet society, or even if it doesn't fit into the boxes that other queer people have made for you. It's channeling curiosity to question the way things are and seeking new possibilities.

As someone who is usually perceived by cishet people as a cis woman, there is safety in that privilege that I don't take for granted. However, it can be incredibly invalidating and cause intense gender dysphoria. I only disclose my gender and pronouns when I feel safe to; otherwise, my perceived "cis-ness" is a mask, a little disguise (cis-guise?). Honestly, it is more painful to be vulnerable in telling someone your gender and pronouns and have them misgender you, than it is to go along with the perception that you're cis. When people who don't know about my queerness misgender me, it doesn't hurt anymore because they aren't let in to my world. They're not even talking about me, they're talking about the character I'm playing in their head. It's a layer of emotional protection that's helped me a lot.

Sometimes, getting dressed as a trans person is one of the most difficult obstacles of the day. It's hard not to be affected by the ways in which you're perceived, even if you don't want to care about other people's opinions. Like if I wear a dress am I not being "non-binary enough?" Do I want to wear a more masculine outfit because I truly want to or is it just because I feel like I have to overcompensate? Does it even matter if I dress more masculine since cis people will still misgender me anyway? Do I hate my body right now or do I just hate how the world looks at it and labels it? I just want to be me. But sometimes it's hard to find myself under all the noise.

How would you define your queer identity?

I still identify with the term non-binary, but agender is a more specific term I find comfort in. My gender is outside of the binary of feminine and masculine. Even since I was little, I've never felt like I fit into one or the other. I’m just me, a being that likes what they like, dresses how they feel, expresses themselves the way they want to. When I really think about it, the idea of gender is an earthly concept that doesn’t really apply to me. It’s like, if an alien or angel came to earth, and people labeled it as one gender because of its appearance, but really gender isn’t even a concept to that being. Being trans and non-binary is divine to me in that way. I reject any pressure to fit into some pre-made box. The universe is too big and brimming with possibilities.